So I was having some computer troubles for a while, and I ended up having to get a new computer, and when new computers happen, iTunes libraries have to be re-stocked. With PCs, only the things purchased in iTunes will still be there...which means a lot of my idol music is on CDs back home in Texas (or out on the internet waiting to be re-downloaded....)
Anyway, whenever I start restocking my iTunes library, songs that I used to listen to a bunch but had gone out of my mind for a while always pop up. One in particular brought back some memories.
MBLAQ's "Cry" is a pivotal song for me. Before I tell you why, I'll give y'all a little back story.
2008 was the year I became an avid fan of Jpop, and while I continued to find more and more of it, I eventually found some Kpop. The first video of Kpop I saw was the Wonder Girls's "Tell Me," followed by "So Hot." Next I found Girls' Generation, and I pretty much stopped there. I had found a couple of groups I enjoyed and for some reason I didn't feel like exploring any further.
Although New Year's 2011, I was working at a convention with KKMS, and I went to the J-pop room, hoping to hear something familiar. Although instead of hearing Jpop, I heard Kpop. I saw some videos from 2PM, Rain (who I knew because I liked Rainism a lot), Big Bang, Orange Caramel (I knew the dance to Magic Girl 'cause it was cute), among others. I was fascinated. They were still idols, but they were different from Jpop idols. There was some Koda Kumi and Ayumi Hamasaki thrown into the mix, but the large majority of the music played was Kpop.
One of the videos that particularly attracted my attention was MBLAQ's "Y."
I had a few days off after the convention to myself, so I decided to watch the video again. I liked their voices, I liked the beat. I thought they worked well together as a group. So I went and searched for more. At this point, I was still a casual listener, and MBLAQ was just another group to add to my list.
After hearing "Cry," that all changed. I liked the music a lot, but the visuals are really what pulled me into the Kpop fandom. Everything was just so....polished. I wasn't used to it! What impressed me the most were the shots filmed underwater. The whole concept was pulled off very well. Using the motif of water, without having the members actually cry was very clever. The dancing in the water reminded me of various styles of contemporary dance, a lot of which I was doing at the time. Also, the water in the dance room reminded me of Morning Musume's "Shabondama," and I liked that they pulled it out during the climax of the song.
After watching the MV for who knows how long, I thought to myself: "I wonder if other Kpop groups pull together concepts as well as MBLAQ does..." Thus began my transition from a casual listener of Kpop, to a full-fledged Kpop fan. Soon after, there was almost as much Kpop on my iPod as there was Jpop.
As I think back, it's interesting to remember how my transition into Kpop reflected the transition I was about to make in life. I was a senior in high school at the time, and I was applying to and auditioning for colleges all across the country. I have a distinct memory of being at the Palmer Hotel in Chicago, and I was auditioning for three colleges, and I had a callback for one more. I was preparing to go to my callback, and my mom was checking my iPod dock to make sure it worked to play my audition music. As she plugged it in, one line rang out: "Time is too slow for me baby, listen to me girl."
My mom looked up at me, perplexed. I had listened to "Cry" on repeat before going to sleep the night before. Even though the song is a sad one, because I don't understand Korean, the music and the vocals were soothing to me, so it helped me to relax. I felt as though I were melting while I listened to it, like I was sinking into the earth. It was grounding, and it made me feel more secure. I listened to it before I went in for each audition, blocking out the world and having MBLAQ help me get in the zone before I went into the room.
It's funny how one song can bring back a multitude of memories. Listening to it now reminds me how far I've come as a person. It helps me remember the me from the past, and reminds me how grateful I am to be who I am now, and how I can do a lot more than I could have two years ago. I guess it's not exactly the song itself, but the memories and emotions attached to it.
I'm glad I found this song, since it not only helped me journey into K-pop, it helped me continue on my journey as a person. I'm sure this song will stay with me for a very long time.
EDIT: Hey! This is my 50th post! 8D Thanks for staying with me this long, y'all! ^--^
